


The Feeling

by spendeonswithyou



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, One-Shot, i have no idea what this thing is, raphael centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7027522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spendeonswithyou/pseuds/spendeonswithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about Raphael is that he never lets people in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this thing - whatever it is - at 3 am when I couldn't sleep, but I'm posting it anyway. I hope it's not that terrible!

The thing about Raphael is that he never lets people in.  


As in, never in a lifetime. Or - in case of him being a vampire - never in an eternity.  


He built these walls so high and so tight around him, that he always thought it would be impossible to even crack them, just a little bit. Not even mentioning completely crumbling them.  


For years and years and years he didn't let himself feel anything.  


He was a monster. He didn't deserve to feel anything.  


He didn't really have friends, or at least not anyone he would try to trust even a little. Just allies, in political context. He also had enemies, but that's the whole other story.  


He learned not to care, about what happens to other people - mortals come and go, they all are going to die anyway. Not to care, because it makes you weak.  


And, most of all, he didn't love. He shut himself off from feeling anything towards anyone for years, decades, and he avoided the subject anytime someone would mention it.  


He was okay with it. With being alone, with feeling the emptiness in the place his heart used to be in, with feeling nothing.  


Until it stopped being fine anymore.  


Until Simon came and shattered these walls he built around himself, not even meaning to do so.  


Suddenly - in a simple momentum - something changed, he felt something, something he was not even able to explain. Suddenly he started to care, which was exactly what he avoided so carefully since almost forever.  


And Simon didn't seem to care as much as he did.  


But he couldn't help it, and every day he would find himself looking at Simon longer than it was necessary, searching for an excuse to talk to him, to be near him.  


He felt helpless.  


It took him some time, but finally he realized it, and the thought terrified him completely.  


He was falling in love.  


(What he didn't know was that there was someone falling in love with him too.)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any mistakes, English is not my first language. Also, you can send me prompts on [tumblr](https://addictedtobooks46.tumblr.com), my inbox is open and I'm always happy to write about these two!  
> Feedback is always appreciated :)


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